Resolutions? Whatever!

New Years is always about resolutions. You know, the things you're excited about until you actually have to do it. We all do it.

Instead of making some resolution that I know I'll give up on almost immediately. This year I decided to do something I know I'll stick to. Maybe push me, but that I can actually do.

So this year I'm going to do the following:

• Write down positive moments. 
• No matter how small they will seem, just write them down.
• Train for the Chicago Marathon properly.
• I tend to fall off the training wagon and I want to get that out of my system.
• Drink water. 
• I barely drank water the past months, so even one glass is better than nothing. Eventually I want to drink at least 8 glasses, but I'm okay starting small.
• Workout at least 3x a week.
• I need to take care of myself. If I can't give myself even 30 minutes, then I need to prioritize my life.
• Go to one exercise class a week.
• I love to never go to the gym even though I'm paying for it. If I go to a class at least once a week the membership pays for itself. 
• Write more.
• Whether this is here on the blog or in my journal, just write more. 
• I did get a 5-Year Memory Journal that I've been filling out daily. 
• Read 40 books.
• I'll set up a page with what I've been reading.
• Donate to a cause once a month.
• It feels good to help other people. I'm not looking for a lot, but just helping out a cause is nice.
• See new places.
• I'm not specific on new places. It could be a new town, a new part of a town I've been in, a new state, or a new country.

Brrrrr!

It's freezing! I'm a big baby in the cold. I need to be at a consistent 75 or above to be happy. 

Today was really good. I laughed a lot at the end of the day which was awesome. And much needed. I hope the next few days are the same!

The First Monday of 2016

Happy Monday all!

I started today with a work out. This was great. Okay so the workout was a little rough, but I did my best.

After working out I headed to work. Work was pretty good. It's a nice break from the craziness of the holiday season.

My team had a meeting. Listening to the meeting made me feel kind of sad, kind of bad, kind of confused, but also the need to talk to someone. I talked with one of my managers and went over how I've been feeling. It was good to talk about it and know I'm not the worst at work. (Not that I thought I was, but just in general the bad feelings that have lived inside lately.) I won't lie, there were tears. I mean I don't talk to anyone so it makes sense.

I'm hoping that I regain some spark over the next few months.

First Sunday of 2016

My day started off kind of sad. I had some bad dreams which set the mood for the day. 

The day overall was good though. Work wasn't super busy. 

I made the decision to drive to California in March. I'm excited to see the country. Nervous to go out there. It'll be an adventure.

Then I went to the gym. I'm glad I got to go and run before they closed. I miss running.

Now I'm watching Home. I never finished it. It's cute. Funny. 

It's a New Year

It's a new year.

It feels like yesterday that 2015 was starting. And at the same time 2015 felt like it never ended. 

I was thinking of resolutions. You know the silly things that you throw out the window by day 3. I try to not give myself resolutions. (We all want to lose 5 pounds or stop eating junk food. Save money. Whatever. We all do it.)

This year I thought of something else though. 

This blog started as a way to talk about my running. And the charities I was running for. At some point during the last year I lost that love of running. I thought it was due to our bad winter, but even the good weather didn't change anything. A lot of times I run from myself. And the feelings that I have. 

So my resolution this year is to: 

Write everyday how I feel. I'm hoping this helps me with my anxiety and depression. It's been awful this past year. And I don't want to do it anymore. 

This isn't going to be pretty. Some things aren't going to have much detail. 

So today. 

How'd I feel today? 

I felt a lot today. 

I was partially nervous knowing this is what I was going to put out there. Even though I don't know who would ever read this. It's still scary. 

I felt happy. Getting to spend some time with friends during my shift and at lunch. 

I felt pissed. There's some underlying things happening. I won't get into detail based off of what it is. But it makes me mad. 

I felt sad. This kind of goes with the losses thing. 

I felt let down. (See above. Get what I'm trying to say?)

Maybe I'll feel the same tomorrow? I can only imagine that some things will still be there. Maybe things will be a little different. We'll have to see tomorrow.