Friday, January 1, 2016

It's a New Year

It's a new year.

It feels like yesterday that 2015 was starting. And at the same time 2015 felt like it never ended. 

I was thinking of resolutions. You know the silly things that you throw out the window by day 3. I try to not give myself resolutions. (We all want to lose 5 pounds or stop eating junk food. Save money. Whatever. We all do it.)

This year I thought of something else though. 

This blog started as a way to talk about my running. And the charities I was running for. At some point during the last year I lost that love of running. I thought it was due to our bad winter, but even the good weather didn't change anything. A lot of times I run from myself. And the feelings that I have. 

So my resolution this year is to: 

Write everyday how I feel. I'm hoping this helps me with my anxiety and depression. It's been awful this past year. And I don't want to do it anymore. 

This isn't going to be pretty. Some things aren't going to have much detail. 

So today. 
How'd I feel today? 
I felt a lot today. 
I was partially nervous knowing this is what I was going to put out there. Even though I don't know who would ever read this. It's still scary. 
I felt happy. Getting to spend some time with friends during my shift and at lunch. 
I felt pissed. There's some underlying things happening. I won't get into detail based off of what it is. But it makes me mad. 
I felt sad. This kind of goes with the losses thing. 
I felt let down. (See above. Get what I'm trying to say?)

Maybe I'll feel the same tomorrow? I can only imagine that some things will still be there. Maybe things will be a little different. We'll have to see tomorrow. 

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