Yesterday happened. It doesn't seem real.
Going into Boston to cheer on friends & remember the moment I decided to run 4 years ago. That was the plan. It started out that way. I was checking my updates on my friends. I was so proud of them. Seeing Christopher finish was amazing! Not only was I there when he got notified he got in, but I got to see him cross the finish line. Looking at my friends & saying "Today is the perfect day for running. It's sunny, but there's a nice breeze. Not too cold. Not too warm." Things changed shortly after that.
Meeting up with a couple other people & not wanting to wait 2 hours for a table meant we went to a bar. I left to meet up with Christopher & give him a cupcake I got him. I walked back down the route to the bar & talked to my mom. Being in the bar for about 3 minutes & hearing 2 booms was crazy. I mean as much as you tell me it was something else, deep down we all knew what it really was. People were running & crying.
Being away from the news with the exception of the Internet was probably good. Seeing the first video footage made my friend & I say "Holy shit! We were right there! That's where we yelled & cheered for Christopher!"
It was until today that it felt partially real. It still doesn't feel completely real.
Thankfully everyone I know is safe. That's not the case for everyone. What if I had stayed & talked to Christopher for another few minutes? What if MB didn't buy me a drink? I know I would have been standing at the finish line waiting for Kevin to finish. I would have been hurt. I wouldn't have the opportunity to go & run today. Run for everyone yesterday. For the people who never will again. I didn't run for my today. I ran for the people who got hurt. The people who died. The people who went into the danger, not away from it.
I don't know how to fully feel. I don't know what tomorrow will be like. Or what it will be like running in a race again. What I do know is that we will be okay. That we will get through this. That you can't break a runner. We overcome breaking every step we take.
Be thankful today. Forget the petty shit we all worry about. Be thankful for living. For being healthy. Get off the phone /computer/etc & go outside. Be thankful you can do that. Even if it is just for a moment.