Day 2

Today felt alright. 

I was tired. Not surprising. I was up a little late last night binge watching Grey's Anatomy. 

I felt okay. I don't know how to explain what okay feels like, but you just do. Maybe it's more like content? 

I ate some awesome cheese fries! They were great. Maybe I shouldn't be happy I had such bad food, but I couldn't have wanted anything else.

I'm going to spend my night watch The Martian. I just finished the book a few days ago. I should probably see one of the best movies of 2015 sooner or later.

Speaking of books, I put out a goal on Goodreads to read 36 books in 2016. I wanted to read 24 in 2015 and read more than that. I don't force myself to read certain things, or new books, or whatever.  I let myself read whatever. Maybe it's book I've read 100 times already. Maybe it's history. Or a mystery. Or a love story. Or a graphic novel. I just let myself read.

So I'm currently reading The Cuckoo's Calling by Robert Galbraith (or J.K. Rowling as you may be more familiar with).

Until tomorrow...

It's a New Year

It's a new year.

It feels like yesterday that 2015 was starting. And at the same time 2015 felt like it never ended. 

I was thinking of resolutions. You know the silly things that you throw out the window by day 3. I try to not give myself resolutions. (We all want to lose 5 pounds or stop eating junk food. Save money. Whatever. We all do it.)

This year I thought of something else though. 

This blog started as a way to talk about my running. And the charities I was running for. At some point during the last year I lost that love of running. I thought it was due to our bad winter, but even the good weather didn't change anything. A lot of times I run from myself. And the feelings that I have. 

So my resolution this year is to: 

Write everyday how I feel. I'm hoping this helps me with my anxiety and depression. It's been awful this past year. And I don't want to do it anymore. 

This isn't going to be pretty. Some things aren't going to have much detail. 

So today. 

How'd I feel today? 

I felt a lot today. 

I was partially nervous knowing this is what I was going to put out there. Even though I don't know who would ever read this. It's still scary. 

I felt happy. Getting to spend some time with friends during my shift and at lunch. 

I felt pissed. There's some underlying things happening. I won't get into detail based off of what it is. But it makes me mad. 

I felt sad. This kind of goes with the losses thing. 

I felt let down. (See above. Get what I'm trying to say?)

Maybe I'll feel the same tomorrow? I can only imagine that some things will still be there. Maybe things will be a little different. We'll have to see tomorrow.