It's Been Longer Than Expected

I haven't written in almost 2 months. I guess a part of me just hasn't had much to say. Another part has a ton to say. Then there's the part that is scared to say anything.

The winter took it's toll on me. I've been super depressed and anxious for such a long time that I don't know how to go about living without it. I keep telling myself to go outside and enjoy the sun and the warmth that we've waited months for. The thought makes me so stressed that I stay inside.

When the Black Cat race got cancelled a huge part of me was relieved. I wasn't running...at all. It took away some stress and negative feelings by not having it.

A few weeks later I did go up to Salem to take on the Nutty Irish 5k Cocoa Run. I enjoyed myself even though it was snowing and had some harsh conditions to go through. The run was on a golf course. A golf course that was covered in snow. (Keep in mind as snow melts and it gets cold again it turns to ice.) There were some steep hills to go up and down, but we did it! I let Carrick finish ahead of me for his first 5k. He's been training a lot better than me so I was fine taking my time.

Our next step is the Expedition Everest Challenge next week! I'm in desperate need of a vacation. I'm excited to experience Carrick's first trip to Disney with him! It's going to be a great time.

Last week I went into Boston to participate in the run group She Runs Boston. I've never gone to any sort of group runs, but I gave it a shot. I was alone so it was a little weird because I didn't know anyone. I chose to do the 3-mile run. I haven't been training so I didn't choose the 4-mile group. They believe in a no one gets left behind mentality which is awesome. If you need to walk, you walk. If you want to run a 7 minute mile you go! I got to talking with a couple of girls about half way through as we did a run-walk. They were newer runners and none of us had a time limit on ourselves. I can't go back for 2 weeks, but this is something I want to try to go to consistently.

And yesterday was the Boston Marathon! I headed to the finish line so I could catch the elite runners finish. This is something I've set out to do, but always miss by minutes. The weather wasn't going to be so great and I didn't have any close friends running so I wasn't planning on staying there for long. It was great to see the wheelchair athletes and the elite runners finish. They are super speedy! It was a wonderful day in Boston regardless of the weather. I'm so proud of anyone who participated in the marathon! It is quite the accomplishment!

Race Season Has Begun!

On Saturday I ran in the BAA 5k. This is the first race of the Distance Medley that I signed up for back in February. The next race will be in June for the BAA 10k. This will be my first official 10k. I've done a 5 mile run (last Thanksgiving) and I'll be doing a 7 mile run next weekend (I'm running for the cows!), but never an official 10k. So be on the lookout for all of that!

Monday was the Boston Marathon. I got to see my friend finish finally! The weather was beautiful…unless you were running. My friend was telling me how hot it was. I decided to let him know about my experience in Disney and what hot really was! I'm a freak, I love the heat. The hotter, the better. It was very fitting that an American won the Marathon too. I was really routing for Shalane Flanagan to win for the woman. Even though she didn't, she sure kicked some ass.

On Easter I got to go with my friend Tony to see Christina Perri. (I may or may not have checked out the Boston Marathon Expo on my way over to the House of Blues.) Birdie opened for CP and was amazing. I have a song or two of hers on my iPod, but haven't really listened to her. I actually think she sounds better live than on her record. CP came on and she was amazing. There was a proposal and dancing and tears. She's super cute and I love her even more now. If you aren't familiar with her, go get familiar with her here!

I'm currently on a train to DC for the Nike Women's Half Marathon. Instead of going home to pack and get my life situated I decided to go see Iggy Azalea right from work last night. Once again I was at the House of Blues seeing a show. Iggy is a rapper/model from Australia. She is great. I'm glad I finally got to see her!

If you creeped on my Races page you may have noticed I updated it with 2015. I have officially lost my mind and signed up for the Dopey Challenge during the Disney World Marathon Weekend. The Dopey Challenge consists of a 5k on Thursday, a 10k on Friday, the half marathon on Saturday, ending with the marathon on Sunday. This weekend also will celebrate the 10th anniversary of the Goofy Challenge (the half and the full marathon only). I will earn 6 medals over these 4 days (one for each race, one for the Goofy Challenge, and one for the Dopey Challenge). I say will because I don't care if I need to crawl over those finish lines, I'm going to finish.

48.6 miles. 4 days. Jesus take the wheel.

Hello There

I've been a little out of the loop lately. Seems to happen a lot.

First things first,

The B.A.A. 5k is on Saturday! This will be my first time doing this race and I'm really excited. I have a couple of friends who are also running this. One of whom is running the Marathon on Monday!

Yesterday was a year since last year's Marathon and the awful events that happened. I ran the last stage of the One Run for Boston 2 on Sunday to show support for everyone who was effected by those events and the city of Boston as a whole. I did get a little teary eyed during the run, but I'm happy I was part of such a great relay.

Next Monday I will be at the Marathon to cheer on everyone who is running. I've been asked if I'm nervous to go in or told they don't understand why I'm going in, but I will go support my friends and fellow runners. I can't wait to see my friend cross the finish line!

 Some of my TNT teammates are holding a virtual 5k to help them raise money for LLS. They are running the Marathon and set up this run up to help show support to LLS as well as the city of Boston. If you want to sign up you can do so here. It's $26.20 that is well worth it.

Next week I'll also head to DC to participate in the Nike Women's Half Marathon. I was able to participate in the inaugural run last year as a part of TNT. I had a wonderful time and I can't wait to go back and see more of DC.





I also signed up for the Boston's Run to Remember Half Marathon during Memorial Day weekend. This half is to remember fallen law enforcement. I've always heard good things about this run.

Things Are Different Today

Yesterday.

Yesterday happened. It doesn't seem real.

Going into Boston to cheer on friends & remember the moment I decided to run 4 years ago. That was the plan. It started out that way. I was checking my updates on my friends. I was so proud of them. Seeing Christopher finish was amazing! Not only was I there when he got notified he got in, but I got to see him cross the finish line. Looking at my friends & saying "Today is the perfect day for running. It's sunny, but there's a nice breeze. Not too cold. Not too warm." Things changed shortly after that.

Meeting up with a couple other people & not wanting to wait 2 hours for a table meant we went to a bar. I left to meet up with Christopher & give him a cupcake I got him. I walked back down the route to the bar & talked to my mom. Being in the bar for about 3 minutes & hearing 2 booms was crazy. I mean as much as you tell me it was something else, deep down we all knew what it really was. People were running & crying.

Being away from the news with the exception of the Internet was probably good. Seeing the first video footage made my friend & I say "Holy shit! We were right there! That's where we yelled & cheered for Christopher!"

It was until today that it felt partially real. It still doesn't feel completely real.

Thankfully everyone I know is safe. That's not the case for everyone. What if I had stayed & talked to Christopher for another few minutes? What if MB didn't buy me a drink? I know I would have been standing at the finish line waiting for Kevin to finish. I would have been hurt. I wouldn't have the opportunity to go & run today. Run for everyone yesterday. For the people who never will again. I didn't run for my today. I ran for the people who got hurt. The people who died. The people who went into the danger, not away from it.

I don't know how to fully feel. I don't know what tomorrow will be like. Or what it will be like running in a race again. What I do know is that we will be okay. That we will get through this. That you can't break a runner. We overcome breaking every step we take.

Be thankful today. Forget the petty shit we all worry about. Be thankful for living. For being healthy. Get off the phone /computer/etc & go outside. Be thankful you can do that. Even if it is just for a moment.